living or surviving????

is there a difference between living and surviving our life? personally, for the past few years, i think i'm just surviving and not really living my life... apart from my family, this life seems so meaningless.. day by day, i just do what i have to do in order just to survive that day... just to past my time, doing something eventhough my heart really not into it... i don't know what to look for or hope for my future.... my job? it's just ok... but my social life? it seems to going downhill for the last seven years... why i can't be happy like those days? i try to forget what had happened but most of the time, i just simply can't... i try to go on my life as if i never met him but it just made me felt even worse than before, as if i had betrayed him... stupid of me!!! and even worse, i just want to meet somebody like him again... and it make me tend to close my eyes and my heart to other person... i could never give other people a chance or better yet, i never give myself a chance to just be happy again... i try and may be one day, i will be truly happy again... i wish i could take a peek into the future and see what kind of life i will be having... is it a good one? hopefully so...